I just started thinking about you randomly because mother's day is coming up this weekend. I was thinking about how my father may try and persuade me to call you and wish you a happy mother's day... and I thought to myself what I would say to him if he should call. My thoughts went a little something like this: "A true mother would not accuse her daughter of bogus crimes everyday for 10 years straight.... a true mother would not abuse and beat her daughter everyday for 10 years for committing those imaginary bogus crimes.... a true mother would not tell her daughter she was going to kill her... a true mother would not treat her daughter like a criminal on death row." Now of coarse I am not going to say these things to my father because it will just make him want to fight with me and cause problems. But I will NOT acknowledge you as my mother and I will not be wishing you any happy anythings! I realized something today. I do NOT forgive you for what you did to me. For what you put me through for those 10 years. You destroyed me as a human being. You took a giant chunk of me and you ruined it. You stomped on my personality. You KILLED me! Because of you I am very much unable to be myself unless I am around those I am 100% comfortable with and at this point that is only my boyfriend and my son. I am a believer in Jesus Christ and I know I am wrong for not forgiving you! I know I HAVE to forgive you and I am working on that but it is just so very hard. I would be lying if I said I forgive you. So here I am telling the truth. I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU. I do not wish to ever see or talk to you again. You are not welcome in my life or in my house and my son will have nothing to do with you. If I can help it he will never even know you existed. It is clear that you will never come to acknowledge the fact that you were and are wrong for thinking I did those things and until that happens, I am sorry but I can not have a single thing to do with you. I will never again feed your bogus fantasies. I do not wish anything ill upon you. I hope you have a very pleasant life that does not include me or my family. This is goodbye. If you attempt to talk to me in the future I will try very hard to hang up but more than likely will not have the courage to do so, so I will talk to you for a few minutes and kill the conversation as FAST as humanly possible. Have a nice life.
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