2013

Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to you and me.

Here I am at 11:50 PM on news years eve alone. 

Anthony is at work.

I can only think about one single thing. 

How much I love him.

This man is the only person on the planet that has the power to hurt me.

I tore my wall down for him.

I let him in.

He has my heart in his very fist to do with it as he pleases.

When we first started talking I was scared.

It took him 9 months to get me to let him in.

But I did it.

I gave him myself.

I am so happy I did but so very scared that he will chose to do bad with what I gave him.

I love him so much that every time he breathes kinda of funny I have a miniature heart attack. 

Every time he is a few minutes late home from work I freak out, I lose it mentally I become so terrified that he won't ever come back, my whole world shakes violently.

I do not know why I am so distant from everyone.

I suppose it had something to do with my childhood.

Most people would describe me as a cold person.

A person who doesn't care about anything.

This is not true, but to an extent it is.

I care about others but I do not care about their actions toward me.

No one can truly rock my boat, but Anthony.

I know this is choppy and doesn't flow but that is just because I am writing how I feel.

How I feel at this very minute.... scared.

Scared to death that the love of my life will leave me or be taken from me.

Everyday I pray for another day with him.

And I often find myself thanking and rejoicing in the lord for the minutes that we are able to spend together.

I know nothing lasts forever but here's to hoping it last a VERY long time.

Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to you and me.

I love you, I want you forever, and I will do anything under the sun to be with you everyday for the rest of my life.

I will guard what we have with my life.

Silent Sunday: We went to a...

Krispee Kreme Donut Factory :]

Goals: January

Last month's goals:

1. Get my roommates out of my apartment. Check
2. Clean my apartment for Bear's arrival and Anthony's move in. Check
3. Set up the nursery. I haven't done this yet and probably wont be doing it until Feb. I realized I really need to paint the walls before I do any extensive setting up because my roommates made them super yucky.
4. Have at least $650 in the bank after the rent is paid. I have around $300 soooo goal not met :/
5. Get through the month with out giving birth. (Bear is due in January I am quite scared he will come early) Check
6. Call Orkin and exterminate my apartment. Check
7. Figure out whether or not I plan to sell on Etsy again. I have still yet to figure this out.
8. Start my family portrait. (More details on this are soon to come in upcoming posts) Nope, haven't even started yet.
9. Prepare myself mentally for the arrival of my son and my boyfriend moving in. I have not sat down and done this but I have been with Anthony for about a week and a half and it seems to be going quite well.
10. Read the Bible more. I have not fulfilled this goal either.
11. Have a plan for EXACTLY how everything is going to work when Bear is born like where we will live right after, how long we will be there, when we will move, how we will pay for everything etc. Check
12. Enjoy and relax with Anthony for the last two weeks of December as it will be the last two weeks we are a family of two. Check

I accomplished 6/12 goals for December. Not too too bad but really that is 50% hopefully next month will be more successful.

Here are my goals for January:

1. Read the Bible more.
2. Survive labor.
3. Form a strong bond with Bear.
4. Form a stronger bond with Anthony.
5. Finish my panda painting to go up in Bear's room.
6. Sign my new lease.
7. Build stronger relationships.
8. Take Charlie for more walks.
9. Try not to sweat the small things.
10. Lose at least some amount of weight after Bear is born.
11. Finish a whole video game.
12. Drink more water.

Here's to January! :]

Frozen Yogurt Shapes Tutorial

I follow a lot of food blogs. Blogs about bento, blogs about American bento lunches, food review blogs, new food product blogs, and some other random food blogs as well. In a lot of the blogs about American bento lunches I see people are putting frozen yogurt shapes into their lunches. Their shapes come in all sizes and I have seen everything from stars to letters! I think these look so cute and are a great way to add some spunk to the daily bento lunch. The problem is, I had to search high and low to find out how to make them! So, I decided to post a tutorial here on my blog, in case any of my readers had the same issue. I plan on posting a lot of bentos later on in a few months, once I have the time and resources to make them.

You will need:

Yogurt

Sprinkles (optional)

Molds (silicon works best)

You can also color your yogurt if it is white with food coloring.

Step 1

Put a few dashes of sprinkles on the bottom of the mold

Step 2

Fill the mold with yogurt

Step 3

Place in the freezer for a few hours until completely frozen

Step 4

Pop the yogurt out of the molds, and repeat the process if you have more yogurt than you had molds

You can now place them into baggies and put them in the freezer. These are great a frozen snacks or they can be placed in a lunchbox to be thawed by lunch time. The possibilities are endless!

38 Weeks Pregnant - 14 Days to Go!

OK, so I know this post is late, but better late than never right? :]

I have been so super busy and preoccupied here in Kissimmee with Anthony these past few days. I am seriously glad I have not been at my house alone bored :O. I am going to try and keep up more with my blogging but no guarantees.

This week I have been feeling pretty sluggish. I am ready for this baby to come out... now! :O I feel super huge and my stretchmarks are getting really bad on my belly (these are all new I didn't have any on my belly from Seth). I have been having some chest pain and nausea.

I can't believe he will really be here in less than three weeks! Today Anthony and I are going back to Bartow to go to the doctor. So an OB update will be up soon... well more like eventually lol.

Here is this week's update according to babycenter.com:

"Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb. Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old."

I was only able to get one shot this week cuz my phone decided to die right after taking the pic.

38 Weeks 

You can see the stretchmarks in this pic.

Don't mind my mismatched clothes lol. 

This is unedited because I don't have my computer here in Kissimmee.

Silent Sunday: Can't Believe I Haven't Seen Him in a Year

April 2011

I Dream of a Family

Let me start off by saying this was a VERY long post, but at the last minute I erased the whole thing and started over again because the original one sound way too much like a rant and that is not what I was intending to do here.

Never the less....

 I want a family much like this one:

Picture courtesy of National Geographic. It was the only picture I could find with two big bears and a multitude of little bears. 

Ok so maybe not EXACTLY like this one lol but similar.

Growing up I never had the ideal family. I came from a broken home and a broken family. Still today, I have yet to really have a family, all though slowly but surely one is forming.

I think everyone wants more for their children than what they had growing up. The main thing that I want to make sure my son has is a big loving family. LOVING being the key word there.

So, I have made a vow to try my hardest to make one hell of a family for my son, for Anthony, and for myself.

Here are some of the things I dream of:

1. Everyone in the family loving each other and showing affection
2. Family movie night, where we all snuggle on the couch together
3. Reading bedtime stories together
4. Playing games together on the consoles (mainly because this is Anthony's favorite thing to do)
5. Creating holiday traditions like painting eggs on Easter etc.
6. Always eating at least one meal a day together
7. Trying to spend as much time together as a group
8. Family game night like Hasbro
9. Family outings
10. Baking together (going to be hard to get Anthony to do this one lol)
11. Family photos (I am not hopeful on this at all as I have to pull teeth to get Anthony in a picture, but hey I can dream!)

I really just truly want to surround my my son with love and affection, the best way I know how. I do want to eventually expand out family so that he can have siblings to love and be loved by as well. I think the family in my mind that I picture is probably unrealistic, but that's okay because it is just a goal. I know what is realistic and what is not and I know our family will not be picture perfect, but I am going to try extremely hard to make it as close to perfect as I can.

I can not wait to embark on this beautiful journey with Anthony and our son.

Here's to dreaming and here's to the future!

Goodbye Dirty House (Finally!)

My roommates are finally gone! Woo Hoo! Oooooooh Yeaaaaaaa! Seriously I want to get up on the desk and do a little victory dance right now! (that is probably a bad idea seeing as I am almost 9.5 months pregnant lol).

They left for good yesterday December 19th. They left their vacuum and a bookcase thingy so they said they will be back to get it once I come back from Kissimmee in February. (BOO!) but w.e. I am just glad they are gone. Now my house will actually STAY clean when I clean it! instead of being dirty again like 20 minutes later. Well idk how well it will stay clean once Anthony moves in lol but I don't mind cleaning up after him at all.

I am so exited to feel like my house really is MY house and be 100% comfortable in it again! Not to mention, I now have a whole house, not just a bedroom, bathroom, and a shared kitchen. I can watch TV on the couch! and hey I can even take a nap there too if I wanted to. And no cats or poop boxes! And my house wont smell horrible anymore either! Oh and now I can stop hiding food in my room to prevent my roommates from eating/stealing it, Oh happy day! :D Having roommates was nice (kinda) but it is something I will NEVER EVER EVER.....EVER do again. I just can not tolerate living with people that are not my family. Guess it's a good situation for some people but definitely not for me. I am glad I tried it out so now I know. It was a learning experience and for that I am thankful.

They are renting a 3 bedroom apartment with two other people.... I wish them all the best of luck. I really do.

Check out these before and after pictures of my apartment!

BEFORE

This is the kitchen floor, I have no idea why but that big nasty spot always came back !

AFTER

All better now!

BEFORE

The stove, I think this is what bothered me the most!

AFTER

What a beautiful sight :]

BEFORE

As you can see my roommates had my whole living room un-livable. And not to mention the cats!

AFTER

Woo Hoo! I got my living room back!

Now for some random before pics.

The pile of dishes that always came back 10 minutes after I washed them.

The mess on the dining room table.

This is my roommates shower curtain. Yes that IS mold! EWE! Thank God they took the thing with them.

And here are some random after pics.

So fresh and clean! :]

This is Bear's room all ready to be decorated.

Yes I even scrubbed down the microwave :]

I still have some cleaning to do but for the most part, it is all done and ready for Bear, Anthony, and Charlie to come home to. I still have to set up Bear's room though, which I don't think I will be doing until after he arrives because I still don't know the color of his bedding yet. I am so exited to that BTW :P !!!

It's OK Thursday

It's OK that:

1.  I almost got evicted from my apartment yesterday
2. I wrote an entire post about it and then decided it was too much like a rant and threw it out
3. The world might end tomorrow
4. My baby is due in less than three weeks and I STILL haven't set up his room yet
5. I am failing at the December Photo-a-Day Challenge because I am stuck on "Outdoor Christmas Lights"
6. Today is my last day at work before my 2 months off and it totally doesn't feel like it
7. I am supposed to have $3,000 saved up but I only have $600ish
8. My roommates left without paying me the $700 that they owe me
9. I have several posts that I have been meaning to do but have not gotten around to doing them yet
10. I haven't seen Anthony or Charlie in a month
11. I am kind of scared to stay with Anthony at his mom's house for two months
12. I might have to leave my job if Anthony doesn't get approved to be put on my new lease
13. I am definitely no doubt about it HUGE
14. I am scared to sleep in my house now that I live alone again
15. I have a major flea issue in my apartment right now
16. I am quite nervous about what life in the next few months will bring
17. I might slow down at blogging for two months when I move in with Anthony temporarily
18. I only have four more episodes of Grey's Anatomy left
19. Every time I type "Anatomy" I think of Anthony because the two words look alike when typed
20. Anthony won't ever talk to me on the phone because he's not a "phone person"

OB Update & Growth Ultrasound

Update from my OB visit on December 18th.

I was 37 weeks + 1 day at this visit

Vitals: all vitals looked good, including urine, weight, temperature, and blood pressure

Weight: At my last appointment I was 140 and at this appointment I was 142 so I gained 2 lbs last week. I am gaining wight a little faster than I would like now. I am not so sure why I am gaining so much wight, I haven't been eating more or exercising less... I have now gained 31 lbs since I got pregnant.

Uterus: My uterus is small still but now my doctor seems to think that the reason is because my baby is angled weird. He thinks he is just super curled up, because he is not small and I do have enough fluid.

NST: My NST results were normal. I wasn't having any contractions this time so the ones last week probably were just Braxton Hicks.

Notes: No new news really this was just a routine appointment. My results came back for my Group-B Strep test and they were negative. My doctor also told me my iron is at a 9.9 and they like it to be 10 or higher so I now have to take iron pills.

I managed to get a pic of the NST this time! :] The pink band measures contractions and the blue measures my baby's heartbeat.

This is the sheet that prints out of the NST machine kinda like an EKG it prints as it goes. The wavy line to the left is the heartbeat, to get a good NST the waves have to go up when he moves (you can see where he moved marked by the arrows right in the middle. The bottom wavy line is the contractions, as you can see that one is basically flat, cuz I wasn't having any.

I also got a a growth ultrasound on the 17th. This was taken at 37 weeks even. They said Bear is now 6lbs 4oz! Last time at the one I took at 30 weeks he was 3lbs 11oz so he has grown a lot! They also said he now has hair! :] His heart rate was 132 BPM and his anatomy looked all good. I couldn't get a good pic. but he is adorable with fat little cheeks now. :]

AND TODAY MY ROOMMATES ARE LEAVING!!!! OH HAPPY DAY! (I will be sure to post how that goes tomorrow).

37 Weeks Pregnant - 21 Days to Go!

37 weeks! Only three more weeks to go! The only new symptom I have had as of late is edema. My feet are starting to swell as of late just about everyday, but it goes down at night time. I have also had some random nausea here and there but nothing too serious or more than before. I seriously can not believe he will be here in just 3 weeks! That's time is going to fly, especially because I am leaving for Kissimmee in just 4 days!

Weekly update (according to babycenter.com)
"Your baby is now considered full term, even though your due date is still three weeks away. If you go into labor now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. He weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long."

37 Weeks

Alt view so the sticker isn't backwards

Top view (icky lighting :O)

And covered view

Muffin Tin Monday: Snack

This weeks MTM is a quick snack in my favorite plate :]

 Top: Jalapeno Cheese and Cheddar Cheese (still get those cheese cravings like everyday!)
Left: Black Olives, Fresh Pineapple
Bottom: Sliced Banana and Kiwi

For more info on Muffin Tin Monday and MTM please click here.

ZOMG FLEAS!! :O

"ZOMG FLEAS!!!!" Was my reaction to the state of my apartment on Friday afternoon. While my house is now clean (I will make a post about that later on in the week) I now have a flea infestation! There are no animals in my house so they are feasting on me, my roommates claim they are not biting them so I guess I just taste better :/

I assume this problem came from the fact that there were cats in my house with fleas and now that the cats are gone the fleas need food so they are trying to eat me instead.... lovely. This is actually the FIFTH flea infestation I have had this year! I am so sick and tired of fleas.

This time I resorted to calling the professionals... Orkin. They charged me $195 to get my house treated for fleas and roaches. And they are going to come back every two months for more roach treatments at $77 a treatment. I am satisfied with thier roach treatment. However... the fleas... that's another story.

They came out to treat my house on Saturday the day after I called them. The tech came in and did his assessment and told me "You don't have a flea problem." and even though I paid for my house to get treated for fleas he didn't do the treatment nor did he adjust the price. He kinda talked like he did SOME sort of treatment because he told me to call back if the problem persisted. So I assumed he had at least done something! But when I read the paper work he left, I saw that he didn't treat my house for fleas at all.

And the worst part... the fleas are multiplying and getting worst fast! I called Orkin back up, and they told me that they would call me back with an appointment time when one became available. I'm not gonna lie, I am more than worried that they won't call me back. I really hope I didn't just waste almost $200 and now am still left with a major flea problem that HAS to be resolved in less than 5 days (when I leave for Kissimmee).

Lord please help me.

In other news... Today is the 17th and my roommates... they are still lounging at my place. SIGH. I decided to extend my grace and let them stay until the 19th. Really I am going to have a cow if they are not gone by Wednesday afternoon.

Today I am also getting an ultrasound to see Bear's growth progress and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to get another NST and go over the results of the ultrasound.

I will be posting a MTM later on today. And as for the December Photo-a-Day challenge, I am currently stuck on a photo, so until I can get that one photo, I won't be posting any of those. But there will be a big make up post as soon as I can get it :]

Have a great Monday!

Silent Sunday: Fried Green Tomato Mountain

December Photo-a-Day Challenge: Day 15

Day 15

Favorite Holiday Song: I ADORE this song, so much that I listen to it year round :] never gets old. I just love Owl City.

For more info on the December Photo-a-Day Challenge please click here. It's never to late to join the fun! 

December Photo-a-Day Challenge: Day 14

Day 14

Christmas Tree: I posted this picture a few weeks back for Silent Sunday, this is the Christmas Tree that Anthony has at his house. I don't have one for my apartment.

Friday's Letters

This is my first time doing this and linking up :]


Dear Anthony, I can't believe it has been three weeks since we have seen each other! This really takes me back to old times when we used to count down the days til we got to see each other again :] Only 9 more days until we get to be together forever and your doomed to be cuddled every night for the rest of your life. Dear Bear, I can not wait until you come out! Only 24 more days until your due date! Eek I am so exited! Dear Seth, Where ever did you go? I often think about you and wonder if you are happy, if you can talk, what your favorite things are and so on. Maybe one day I will get you back. Dear Charlie, I never thought I would turn out to be a dog person! But thanks to you that's what has happened. I now sorta despise cats. I still think they are cute and great and all but I don't think I ever want to have one in my house again. I can't wait to see you and your goofy little smile and wagging tail. I also bought you a cute sweater that will hopefully fit over your fat belly! :] I even got you a play cloth un-stuffed duck thing, because you seem to want to rip the stuffing out of everything cloth. Dear work, Only 6 more days to go before I get two months off! Hurry up and be done all ready I miss the love of my life! :O Dear Blog, Oh how I love writing on you! You still kind of suck (no offense) but I am getting there! and last but not least.... Dear Roommates, Thank you so much for helping me clean the house and getting 90% of your stuff out of there. Now if you could just leave completely and leave the $700 you owe me on the counter as a parting gift, I would be just over the moon! (Yea I know that is never gonna happen but hey I can dream!)

It's OK Thursday

It's okay that...

1. I have heartburn so bad I feel like I have super fire breathing powers
2. I'm 21 and still love to color in coloring books
3. I am super nervous about my apartment inspection today
4. My Dad said my apartment smelled like cat
5. My roommates might not move completely out until Dec. 19th
6. I am very close to being flat broke
7. I haven't seen Anthony in 3 weeks
8. This is the third post I have made today
9. I have to work tomorrow on a FRIDAY (normally I have those off) :O
10. I am almost out of cheese; the thing I crave like everyday
11. I gained 6lbs in two weeks (maybe the scale LIED!)
12. I am really dreading going back to college in the fall
13. My favorite radio station is only playing Christmas music
14. My roommates have taken over my living room and my Wii
15. I still feel like I am horrible at blogging
16. I pay $22 a month for two DVDs out at a time on Netflix but have had the same DVDs at my house for like 3 months now
17. I only have 8 more episodes of Grey's Anatomy left on Netflix before I've seen them all