5 Weeks Old

I just realized for some reason that my weekly update is majorly off :O I posted 4 weeks on February 5th but Bear turned 4 weeks old on January 31st. I think it was because I got confused thinking that 4 weeks = 1 month and so I was under the impression that he was turning 4 weeks old on Feb. 3rd. So in conclusion I will be moving the weekly update to Thursdays and the food reviews/tutorials to Tuesdays.

Since I just posted a weekly update two days ago, I do not have much to say as Bear has not changed much over the last two days but here are some cute pictures from last week and the week before that I hadn't posted.

 Playing Nintendo DS with his cousin.

Not the greatest pic of me but he's still cute in his rock and roll clothes :]

The first time we took him for a walk. He slept the whole time.

Doing what he does best: Eating

Right after taking a bath

I happen to adore this picture :]

Baby's First Outfits

I actually took the pics for this and planned to post if BEFORE Bear was born but that never happened. But hey better late than never right? ;p

When getting ready for Bear's birth I had 5 outfits lined up to take for his hospital stay. All including an undershirt, the outfit itself, a hat, mittens, and socks if it wasn't footed. I only got the chance to take pictures of 3 of the outfits and it turns out the two that I didn't take pictures of ended up being way too big and he STILL cant fit in them now at a month old.

Outfit #1

This was the first outfit he ever wore :] It fit great. This one actually broke (the snap at the neck) when he was about 2 weeks old so he stopped wearing it then.

It was also Daddy's favorite outfit as well. I have pictures of him in it in the hospital but they are on Anthony's phone, so I will have to go through and add them later.

Outfit #2

The second outfit he ever wore. We ended up leaving him in the yellow undershirt from the first outfit because it never got dirty. And the yellow hat as well because this blue one was much too big.

He only wore this for a few hours before it got dirty so I didn't get any pictures of him in it while in the hospital :O This is one of the ones that are now very snug at 1 month old.

And outfit #3 also the going home outfit.

I just LOVED this one! It was the first ever outfit that he grew out of. 

We skipped the hat on this one because it was hot outside and he also wore cute little socks to go with it that are not pictured. It is hard to see but the ends of the sleeves turn into little mittens on this one. I have a few pics of him in this one in the hospital but they are on my other computer so I will have to put those up later as well.

Currently

I am currently...

Loving: My life. I am glad to say that I am finally to a place where I actually LOVE my life! I mean sure there are rough patches here and there but aside from those normal petty issues I've got it pretty good. I do often sit down and wonder... WHY? why is my life so good? Why am I so blessed? Why are there others that are not as blessed? I feel sometimes that I do not deserve to have this. I just continue to thank God everyday for the many blessings he has provided me and my family with, and pray for those less fortunate.
Hating: The cold weather. Ok ok.... I know that to most people 50-60 degrees is not considered cold lol but being Florida born and raised that is absolutely freezing to me! I would die if I lived anywhere that snowed. That is a fact.
Wishing: I had a Lap Top Lunch Box, a muffin tin, and a swing for Bear. I have been wanting a Lap Top Lunch box (or 10) for like a whole year now. I just have not yet found the funds to buy one... maybe when I get my tax return in a few weeks I will treat myself. :] I have also been wanting a muffin tin for Muffin Tin Mondays but I can not find one that has just 6 spots in it anywhere! Well aside from the internet but I would rather buy one from the store so I don't have to pay for shipping. I seriously cant believe that Wal-Mart only sells the 12 compartment ones, I thought Wal-Mart had everything. And the swing... I have been wanting one of these since I was pregnant. I got a 60$ gift card from my co-workers which would have been perfect for buying a swing but I had to end up using it to buy a vacuum cleaner because of my flea infestation a few months back (getting rid of fleas requires a good vacuum cleaner and LOTS of vacuuming). Good news is Anthony is planning to buy one for Bear next week with money he is getting from a car wreck settlement.
Watching: American Horror Story: Asylum. Me and Anthony got into this show after we so an add for it in the Xbox Live market place. It is one of the most creepiest shows I have seen but it has definitely got Anthony and me hooked. We watch an episode everyday after dinner. Unfortunately there are only 2 seasons and we are almost done with this one so we will soon have to find a new show to watch.
Listening to: Nothing actually. I used to listen to music ALL the time. I remember there was a time when I would never go out with out my iPod. Now music just seems to bother me. It seems to racquety. Yikes it sounds like I am getting old! Me and Anthony do listen to music in the car but other than that we pretty much don't bother with it anymore. Also I have this stupid song stuck in my head... its the alarm that wakes me up every morning and it is the most ANNOYING thing. It goes something like this: bing, bing, bing... goodmorninnnnnnng! bing, bing, bing, goodmorninnnnnnng! pa, pa, pa, pa, pow, pow, pa, pa, pa, pow! Goodmorninnnnnnnng! and so on, it drives me nuts but gets the job done lol.
Playing: Kirby Epic Yarn for Wii. I just got this game from Gamefly a few days ago and I love it! Kirby is turned into a little yarn character and can do lots of cool things like turn into a car, submarine, or hot air balloon. He is in a place called Patchland and everything is made of fabric and yarn. I wish I had more time to play this. Seems like once I get home, cook dinner, eat, and watch a show with Anthony I am really tired and just want to sleep. Hopefully this weekend I can find some time in between taking care of Bear too play this super cool game :]
Wearing: I can fit in my fuzzy jacket again! Yay! It became too small around 30 weeks pregnant and I had to set it aside until now. I have been wearing it to work everyday this week, oh how I have missed you fuzzy jacket!
Eating: Raspberry Poptart. Today for breakfast I am having a raspberry Poptart. I know not the healthiest but never the less it gets the job done. For lunch I have spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and salad (left overs from last night).

MTM: 1st Ever Muffin Tin Meals

Back in November 2011 I remember being flat broke having just moved into a new apartment. But I wanted to try a muffin tin meal SOOO bad. So I went on down to the Dollar Tree and bought a cheapo muffin tin (they don't sell them anymore either boo) and a few snacks as well. I then went home and whipped up my first ever muffin tin meal. I am really glad I took pictures too, I didn't have a blog back then but I wanted to share the experience with my sister so I took some pics to send her and I just happened to have stumbled across them on in an old file in my computer last night.

And here it is!

Top: french fries, peanut butter and Cheddar crackers, and orange chicken

Center: ketchup for dipping

Bottom: lemon pound cake, yellow rice, and Reeses Pieces

I loved my muffin tin meal so much I made one everyday for the rest of the weak. And I took pics too! Here are the rest of the meals I made that week:

 Top: heart shaped mini pancakes, chicken flavored crackers, peach cobbler

Bottom: chicken nuggets, sweet potato fries, and more mini pancakes

Top: sugar for dipping pancakes, a few chicken flavored crackers and a few peanut butter ones, and heart shaped mini pancakes

Bottom: peach cobbler, pasta salad, and a chicken strip

Top: french fries, chicken nuggets, and lemon pound cake

Middle: mustard for dipping, and sugar for the pancakes (I don't like syrup)

Bottom: Snack Pack pudding, pasta salad, and mini heart shaped pancakes

Unfortunately right after making the last meal, my muffin tin rusted and I was unable to get a new one. I cant wait to get my tax return so I can buy a new tin and start making meals again! I also cant wait to see Anthony's reaction to this odd way of eating. :]

4 Weeks Old! (1 Month)

My sweet baby Bear turned one month old on Feb. 3rd :[ the time now seems to be going by fast. As I see him growing I can't help but to feel sad knowing that he will one day be older... get married... and move out.

Personality: We are starting to see more and more of Bear's personality come out. He is now cooing a little bit and is very clingy. He always wants to be by Mommy and Daddy. He likes the bath now, it actually calms him down. He hates being cold and loves to cuddle. He hates being in his car seat and doesn't care much for his bouncer either. He HATES tummy time and screams his little head off every single time we try and get him to do it. He still isn't quite smiling but he has a precious little twinkle in his eye that brings Anthony and me joy every day.

Features: Bear's features are now starting to come out! We can tell he has brown eyes and brown hair (just like Mommy!) he has Daddy's chin and Mommy's ears. His skin is still light like mine, I am hoping it will darken to be like Anthony's but if it doesn't I will love him just the same :].

Eating Habits: Boy this little baby can eat! I think he may be going through a major growth spurt or something! He is still at 4oz every 1-3 hours but every now and then (maybe once or twice a day) he will not get full off of four oz and want 6. Yesterday 6 wasn't even enough and we had to give him 8! Eating seems to be one of his most favorite things to do. He is burping better now it takes about 1-3 minutes of back patting to get a burp. He is still spitting up quite a bit though.

How me and Anthony are adjusting: I am now back to work and Anthony is taking care of Bear for the 9 hours that I am gone. He seems to be coping well. I do notice him getting frustrated at times with the crying because Bear cries A LOT, he is definitely not a quite baby. All though he is getting frustrated at times I can really see that he cares and I know that gets him through the day. I miss my baby more than ever when I am at work. I find myself wondering what he is doing, what is he wearing, how much he ate today, and so on. I often just want to cuddle him and miss having him next to me all the time. I have a feeling that this feeling of missing him is not going to pass anytime soon.

Growth: Bear has now outgrown an outfit! Yay Bear! He no longer fits into the first ever outfit he wore when in the hospital. He still fits into all the others but some are very snug. Maybe he can start wearing more outfits soon :] He is still in size NB diapers. We tried size 1 this week but they were just too big so we went back to size NB for now. At last weeks doctor's appointment he was 7lbs and 11oz and 20 in tall! I cant wait to go to his 1 month appoint to see how much he has grown since then!

Health: He has been in great health. No colds or anything other than gas which we fixed with gripe water. I hope and pray that he stays in good health for a long time to come.

Sleeping: This child is definitely NOT a good sleeper! He is currently kind on a sleep schedule but it gets all out of whack all the time. Roughly he goes to sleep at about 7 and wakes up around 11 and 4 to eat. Sometimes he will wake up at around 6 too. He gets up at about 7-8 and stays up for about 3 hours of alert time. He no longer likes to sleep in his bed either (big problem). When we swaddle him he seems to do better not minding sleeping in his bed as much and sleep longer. But once 4am rolls around you can forget it! He always cries to be held at around that time and won't sleep unless in our arms or in our bed. Don't get me wrong I love to cuddle him all night long but I do miss being able to cuddle Anthony as well. I hope we can fix these sleeping issues before they become a real problem. 

I've realized...

that my relationships with everyone other than Anthony and Bear are really, extremely, weak. :[

This weekend I sent my sister a picture of Bear via email. I sent her one of my favorite pictures of him that I have taken so far. This was the first picture she has seen of Bear because I do not post pictures on Facebook. She wrote back saying how cute he was. I then replied wanting to start a conversation, by telling her about how I am going to try and take professional-ish looking pics of him for Valentines day. She then replied back with "Oki Doki".... this made me realize that I have VERY weak relationships.

My sister and I were always close and I *thought* we still were but apparently that is not the case. It pains me to say this but it is true. I used to call her all the time to talk or to hang out before Bear was born. It was fun and I really enjoyed it. After Bear was born I was in Kissimmee for a long time and very busy with adjusting to life so I had little time to call and chat with her, but I did do so once. But over the coarse of 5 weeks, she did not call me one time. Not to see how I was doing, not to see how Bear was doing, not to chat, not to hang out... not one time. D: The same is true for my dad.

This got me to thinking..."Why am I always the one who has to make an effort?" aren't relationships supported to be about give and take? I feel like I am putting into it and they are noting giving anything back.

I bet that if I did not call them they would never pick up the phone and attempt to talk to me. Do they just not care? Are their lives THAT busy? I just don't understand. All I know is that I don't want to be the one that always has to call first. I want to feel that others (my family), care about me and want to talk to me, or at least make sure I am still alive.

I am just very thankful for Anthony and Bear. I know we have a tight bond and I am going to work very hard at making sure it gets stronger and stronger. I guess it's ok that I they are all I have. Now that I realize that that is indeed the situation, I AM ok with it. I wish it was not the case, I really wish my family would make some effort to show they care about me, but hey, at least I'm not alone. I get plenty of love and affection from Anthony and Bear and that is really all I need at the end of the day. I love the two of them more than anyone or anything on the planet.

As for my sister and father... I guess I won't be calling them anymore. I would like to see how long it takes for them to pick up the phone and call me. I will post a follow up once they do so (if that ever happens).

 The picture I sent my sister. (The cutest baby I ever did see, maybe I'm bias but I don't care!)

Goals: February

Last month's goals:

1. Read the Bible more. Really need to work on this more
2. Survive labor. Check
3. Form a strong bond with Bear. Check (So happy I was able to do this!)
4. Form a stronger bond with Anthony. Check (I would like for it to be even stronger though)
5. Finish my panda painting to go up in Bear's room. FAIL lol
6. Sign my new lease. Still waiting on my apartment complex for this one so it's not my fault that that didn't get accomplished.
7. Build stronger relationships. I built a stronger relationship with Anthony and Bear but I feel like my relationship with everyone else has weakened.
8. Take Charlie for more walks. FAIL
9. Try not to sweat the small things. Still sweating the small things, I think this has a lot to do with my anxiety issues.
10. Lose at least some amount of weight after Bear is born. Check I lost 15ish lbs
11. Finish a whole video game. Got close to fishing Epic Mickey 2 but we got bored and sent it back into Game Fly
12. Drink more water. I have tried this on multiple occasions and I just can not seem to do it. I can not drink unless I am thirsty and I do not get thirsty very often. 

Still at about 50% for January's Goals. Hopefully I can do better for February's goals!

 February's Goals:

1. Buy Bear a crib.
2. Get Bear's room set up.
3. Get Charlie home (he is still in Kissimmee).
4. Get a daily and weekly routine established.
5. Learn more about Anthony's preferences.
6. Spend as much time as possible as a family.
7. Take Charlie for lots of walks.
8. Read the Bible more.
9. Go to the dentist (I have a major dental problem right now EEK!).
10. Choose a Medicaid plan for Bear and get him a regular pediatrician set up.
11. Buy a washer, dryer, and new mattress.
12. Get back to blogging everyday.
13. Get a good set of photo's of Bear (done by me that look professional to a degree).
14. Lose at least 2 lbs.

Here's to February!