Catching Up - Part 5 - Anthony Got a Job!

Anthony got a job! Seriously, for real! My stay at home dad husband is now gonna be going to work! We are still going through a very long and grueling hiring process, but he has already been told that they have chosen him for the job and they are offering it to him and he has accepted their offer. He will be working with me at the School Board in the department that handles student records and report cards. He will only be working part time for now, but we are hoping that this will be a great way to get his foot in the door and hopefully with in a few years, a full time position will open up that he can apply for. That is how I got my full time position with the School Board as well, I worked part time for 4 years and gained experience and then got hired on full time. So in good time, we hope he will get a full time job, but for now we are so thrilled over his part time job!

We are hoping he will start working in the beginning of April. Currently we are waiting on his transcript to come in the mail and he also has to go to a new employee orientation and do a 2nd interview as well. And after that he has to get finger printed and drug tested, so it is going to be a few more weeks at the least. 

We do still plan to Etsy as I was the one doing most of the work anyways so the fact that he is going to be working has not really changed that at all. We will simply do our post office runs during our lunch hour to make sure everything gets out on time. 

As for Bear, he is now attending day care! (more on that tomorrow!). 

We are so so exited to begin this chapter of our lives and really just can not wait! Well... I can not wait anyways lol he is prolly not so thrilled about going back to work after not having to work for over a year. Never the less! I am exited! =]

"You're feeding him too much."

The other day Anthony and I ran into my uncle at Publix. We chatted for a few minutes and went about our ways. The next day at work (my uncle works at the same place as I do) my uncle came up to me and started making small talk about the sub we had bought the night before at Publix and we got to talking about Anthony and he said to me "You're feeding him too much.".... implying that he was getting fat and it was my fault.

I got to thinking about this. Yes he is right Anthony is gaining weight, I do not know if it is at a steady rate or if he has just gained some weight here and there because we do not have a scale. I can see it in the pictures though that he is gaining weight and has been continually since Bear was born. Is he fat? No. He is normal sized. Could he become fat? Sure. Am I going to try and prevent that from happening? Absolutely not.

I do not want him to be fat, but I honestly feel that it is wrong to try and control what he eats or how much of it he eats. He is a grown man and he should be able to make those decisions himself. If he chooses to eat three helpings of food, he will suffer the consequences. People should be able to eat what they want when they want to, who am I to tell him he can't have more if he is still hungry? It's just not right. And it is not like he is eating 10 times a day or insane amounts or anything like that either. We eat 1 time a day. That's it, just once.

If someone tried to control what I ate or how much of it I ate... it would upset me. Especially if that person was Anthony because I want him to accept me the way I am. I do not want him to see that I am gaining weight and try to stop it, that would honestly hurt my feelings (even though I know he would be doing it for both of our best interests), it would still upset me a lot.

What are your thoughts on this? Is it wrong to control what your spouse eats and how much of it they have to eat? Or do you think that when it's for the better it's ok?

Empanada Making

Now that Anthony is living with me I have found that his Puerto Rican culture is making it's way into my life more and more (which I love by the way). I found myself buying stuff at Wal-Mart like Sofrito and Adobo. And sometimes even speaking a little spanglish! lol 

A few days ago Anthony taught me how to make Empanadas. So fun and so yummy! but not so great when you are trying to lose 10 lbs.

Empanadas are made by stuffing empanada dough shells with filling and then frying them. They sell the shells at Wal-Mart for about $2.50 for a pack of 12, in the frozen Hispanic foods section. They are shaped like a flat circle. You place the filling in the middle and fold the circle over creating a semi-circle. You then pinch the dough together and last crimp it closed with a fork. 

It should look a little something like this before it is cooked. This was my first one though however so it looks pretty sad compared to Anthony's lol.

Next you fry them until golden brown on each side.

You can fill them with a number of things. We tried cheese the first time we made them and a beef/cheese recipe we found online the second time. Both were absolutely fabulous!

Love, love, LOVE these! Can't wait to make more. 

I've realized...

that my relationships with everyone other than Anthony and Bear are really, extremely, weak. :[

This weekend I sent my sister a picture of Bear via email. I sent her one of my favorite pictures of him that I have taken so far. This was the first picture she has seen of Bear because I do not post pictures on Facebook. She wrote back saying how cute he was. I then replied wanting to start a conversation, by telling her about how I am going to try and take professional-ish looking pics of him for Valentines day. She then replied back with "Oki Doki".... this made me realize that I have VERY weak relationships.

My sister and I were always close and I *thought* we still were but apparently that is not the case. It pains me to say this but it is true. I used to call her all the time to talk or to hang out before Bear was born. It was fun and I really enjoyed it. After Bear was born I was in Kissimmee for a long time and very busy with adjusting to life so I had little time to call and chat with her, but I did do so once. But over the coarse of 5 weeks, she did not call me one time. Not to see how I was doing, not to see how Bear was doing, not to chat, not to hang out... not one time. D: The same is true for my dad.

This got me to thinking..."Why am I always the one who has to make an effort?" aren't relationships supported to be about give and take? I feel like I am putting into it and they are noting giving anything back.

I bet that if I did not call them they would never pick up the phone and attempt to talk to me. Do they just not care? Are their lives THAT busy? I just don't understand. All I know is that I don't want to be the one that always has to call first. I want to feel that others (my family), care about me and want to talk to me, or at least make sure I am still alive.

I am just very thankful for Anthony and Bear. I know we have a tight bond and I am going to work very hard at making sure it gets stronger and stronger. I guess it's ok that I they are all I have. Now that I realize that that is indeed the situation, I AM ok with it. I wish it was not the case, I really wish my family would make some effort to show they care about me, but hey, at least I'm not alone. I get plenty of love and affection from Anthony and Bear and that is really all I need at the end of the day. I love the two of them more than anyone or anything on the planet.

As for my sister and father... I guess I won't be calling them anymore. I would like to see how long it takes for them to pick up the phone and call me. I will post a follow up once they do so (if that ever happens).

 The picture I sent my sister. (The cutest baby I ever did see, maybe I'm bias but I don't care!)

2013

Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to you and me.

Here I am at 11:50 PM on news years eve alone. 

Anthony is at work.

I can only think about one single thing. 

How much I love him.

This man is the only person on the planet that has the power to hurt me.

I tore my wall down for him.

I let him in.

He has my heart in his very fist to do with it as he pleases.

When we first started talking I was scared.

It took him 9 months to get me to let him in.

But I did it.

I gave him myself.

I am so happy I did but so very scared that he will chose to do bad with what I gave him.

I love him so much that every time he breathes kinda of funny I have a miniature heart attack. 

Every time he is a few minutes late home from work I freak out, I lose it mentally I become so terrified that he won't ever come back, my whole world shakes violently.

I do not know why I am so distant from everyone.

I suppose it had something to do with my childhood.

Most people would describe me as a cold person.

A person who doesn't care about anything.

This is not true, but to an extent it is.

I care about others but I do not care about their actions toward me.

No one can truly rock my boat, but Anthony.

I know this is choppy and doesn't flow but that is just because I am writing how I feel.

How I feel at this very minute.... scared.

Scared to death that the love of my life will leave me or be taken from me.

Everyday I pray for another day with him.

And I often find myself thanking and rejoicing in the lord for the minutes that we are able to spend together.

I know nothing lasts forever but here's to hoping it last a VERY long time.

Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to you and me.

I love you, I want you forever, and I will do anything under the sun to be with you everyday for the rest of my life.

I will guard what we have with my life.