The Question

There's a question that keeps coming into my mind... a question that I keep pushing out and like a pesky mosquito it just keeps coming back. No matter how hard I try, I can not seem to squash this mosquito. Maybe its because deep down, I am itching to confront Ann.

The question: What do you say to a woman that stole your child?

I want to ask people what their opinion on the matter is, what they would say to her if they were me, but I just cant bring myself to do it. I have not talked to Ann since January 30th of 2012. And I have not seen my son since a few days before that. It has almost been a year since I have seen him.

I have been unable to bring myself to contact Ann and to talk to her about well... anything. I don't know if I feel angry toward her or not but I do feel as though what she did was one of the worst things anyone could do to an individual.

As the days go by, I am wanting more and more to call her and to tell her how I feel. Every time that I get close to making this effort, I always back down. There are several reasons why I back down, but honestly I think the main reason is because I can not bear to face her. I can not sit and listen to her tell me about all the things she is doing with MY son.

I am pregnant and I am scared. I am scared that she will find out that I am pregnant and somehow, someway, try to take a stab at getting my other son taken away from me as well. Now you may be thinking, that makes no sense, why would she do that if your second baby isn't even related to her? Well the answer to that is: because she wants to take everything from me. And for what? This I do not understand, what did I ever do to her to make her desire to take every little thing that I have? I don't think I will ever know the answer to that question.

In 2011 when Zack and I broke up, the two of them came to what used to be our house, and took my two beloved cats. As they were walking out, I heard the comment. "You know, we hate cats, we don't even want these cats, but were taking them anyways because we know you love them!"

This incident has brought me to fear that they will attempt to take anything and everything else they can get their hands on as well. And for this I am too scared to be around Seth while being pregnant or for Seth to see or have any interaction with his brother. I am scared that Seth is now able to talk enough to where he can tell them that I have another baby and I am scared of losing another child.

So what am I to do? Do I just not talk to her for forever? Do I wait until after my son is born? Or do I just wing it and confront her now? and.... if/when I do talk to her, What do I say to her?

So many questions and not enough clarity to answer any of them.

Halloween 2009 - 3 Months Old