Baby's First Laugh

A few days ago on March 25 Bear surprised us with his first laugh! I was playing with him, just mainly by singing and talking and saying silly things, and he was smiling and smiling so much! Then out of nowhere he started laughing! Anthony was near by but was not really paying attention but he came over and we were able to get him to laugh one more time. Since then we have not heard him laugh again but I think it is kind of like the smiling thing, it just takes time. When he first started smiling he only did it once or twice and then we went a few days between seeing smiles, but now he smiles everyday :] Hearing him laugh brought an intense amount of joy to my heart. It's the small things that make us happy in life <3 Hope everyone is having a great Spring Break! We are! I will post about all the things we have been up to on next Monday.

Monday Memory: Riding my Bike to School

For my 7th birthday I asked my dad for a bike. I remember this bike oh so well. It was sea foam green and had pink and purple accents. A little doll basket in the front and tassels hanging from the handle bars. I removed the basket and tassels because they were just not my thing, but I LOVED my bike!

On the day of my party, I was very upset I do not recall the exact reason but I do remember sitting under my desk in my room crying and everyone trying to drag me into the kitchen to celebrate. I was not happy as a child at all. I felt like my life was one big mistake. Most of these feelings stemmed from my mother abandoning me and my dad getting married to a woman who clearly resented me (all though she had not become abusive yet at that point) I just knew she did not want me around by the way she treated me, talked to me, and even looked at me. It was very apparent that I was cramping her dream life style.

Once they dragged me out of my room and I saw my new bike (the exact one I asked for) I was so happy! Little things like new toys could make me happy for a few days before I went back to hating my existence. I think about that today and it kinda blows my mind, like what 7 year old would hate being alive? When you think of that age you think of kids that are care free and I almost want to say that a 7 year old could not even think that way but that is not true because I did.

The very next day my sister taught me how to ride with out training wheels. Yep that is right, not my dad or my mom. My sister who was 9. I was thankful for this. We had lots of fun learning and riding with our friends across the street Elizabeth and William.

The day came where I wanted to ride my bike to school. My school was a good mile from my house. We normally walked there, my sister and I because at the time Elizabeth was going to a different school that her mom worked at and William was not even in school yet. I think about this now and it seems kind of odd to me that my dad and his wife would let a 7 and 9 year old walk a mile to school everyday. But then again... it was 1998 and times were different. My younger sister is now 13 and they won't even let her walk to the bus stop alone! And that is literally 5 houses down from theirs. Crazy.

So, my sister and I rode our bikes to school. Mine was all nice and shiny and hers was old and rusty. Must have looked kinda odd. I wish they would have bought her a new bike too. Thinking back, it seemed pretty unfair. But at 7 you don't think about those sort of things.

I really enjoyed riding my bike but I was not really all that good at it yet, so I fell off... a lot! I remember going into school (I was in the first grade). And going straight to the clinic balling my eyes out screaming "I need a band-aid!" because I had skinned both my knees to all hell. I thought a band aid would make it feel all better lol. Silly how kids think. I always stopped crying as soon as I got one too.

After a while of this the nurse said to me something to the effect of "If you are going to keep falling off your bike every morning maybe you shouldn't ride it to school". This really upset me because I liked my bike and I loved riding it to school, not having to walk was so great to me. I agreed with her and left to my class.

The next day, I still rode my bike to school, but this time I packed band-aids in my backpack and when I fell off my bike, I took one out and put it on.

After a while I got a hang of the bike and no longer needed the band-aids and after some months maybe even a year my bike stopped working and my dad never did buy me a new one. So that was the end of my bike riding-to school days.

11 Weeks Old!

Late post because Bear turned 11 weeks old 3 days ago.

New things he is doing this week:

Eating his hands: He never used to do this until just now. He constantly has his hands in his mouth and slobber every where! It is cute lol I did not know babies did this at such a young age. The only thing is he spits up a lot and so when he sticks his hands in his mouth they end up smelling like puke. Ick.

Rolling over: He can't quite do it yet but he sure is trying! as you can see I caught it in this picture :] He can half way roll over now. I am pretty sure he will be all the way rolling over pretty soon.

More interest in the world around him: Bear has started to notice the things around him more. As you can see in this picture he is looking at the keys Daddy is holding. He actually loves those keys. He would rather look at them than his toys. He does watch TV now too! Like he not only listens but watches the screen. He likes Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba.

Sleep: His sleeping pattern has changed a little this week. He is now sleeping from 7:30ish to 4 am! YAY! So he is almost sleeping through the night. He wakes at 4 for a bottle and goes back to sleep and then wakes at 6:30 for another bottle and goes back to sleep til 9:30 when he wakes for another bottle and to stay up for the day. He is taking about 3-4, 2-3 hour naps a day. The only thing is it is very HARD to get him to sleep at 7:30. He gets really really tired and fights his sleep. He screams bloody murder til he finally does fall asleep. I really hope the bedtime process changes soon.

Growth: We went up to a size two diaper this week! Not because we chose to but because Publix did not have any size 1s left in Papers Swadlers (and we refuse to buy any other brand or kind). Turns out size two fits him great so we are gonna stick with it for a while. I think he got taller as well because a lot of his NB clothes is becoming too small. I think I may put all of his NB stuff away soon and take out all the 0-3 months stuff. I also noticed he has long arms! It's like the outfit will fit but if it is long sleeved the arms will be too short. Maybe he will play a sport when he gets older like tennis maybe? 

Eating: We are still feeding him 4 oz ever 2 to 3 hours. He is still doing good with it for the most part but sometimes he just gets super hungry and screams for more. So we offer him 2 more oz but most of the time he will only take one more. So he is basically at 4-5 oz every 2-3 hours now.

First real boo boo: Kind of hard to see but this was his first boo boo. It was from his nail! This one is pretty bad it has been there for about a week and still has not healed like the gimpy little scratches he got as a NB. My poor baby.

Spring Break

So as most of you know, Spring Break is next week! For me it starts in about 20 minutes. I just wanted to let everyone know that I may take a small break from blogging over the next 10 days because I will likely be ultra busy! I do have some pre-written posts that I will post here and there but other than that this blog will be a ghost town over the next week and a half.

I will have my cute little Bear to spend tons of time with, I have a birthday party to go to, a beach trip planned, several trips to stores to pick up things for my Etsy launch, lots of cleaning and organizing to do, and LOTS AND LOTS + some more of crayon making and Etsy planing to do. We plan to launch our first Etsy shop on March 7th. My fingers are crossed that we can list at least 75 products in that shop by March 18th.

The goal is to make approximately $75 a day and once we get there (we are hopping we will reach this in 3-5 months) we plan to launch our second Etsy shop with an ultimate goal to make combined salary of $130 a day (we hope to reach this goal in 6-12 months). I am SO very determined to make this happen and I refuse to give up until I reach my goals. Please say a prayer for me! I see many many sleepless nights ahead of me.

It's Okay Thursday

Linking up today! You should join the fun too!
It's ok that...

1. I went to bed at 7:30 last night and got NOTHING done
2. I didn't post Bear's weekly update today because I didn't upload my new pictures last night like I was planning to
3. I need more money
4. My Etsy shop will not launch until April 7th rather than the original planned date of March 31st
5. I have not had much time to spend with my family latley (ok so that REALLY is NOT ok! lol)
6. It took me over 5 hours to write this post because I kept stopping and starting again
7. I have like 7 things on my "To do before Spring Break" list that I have NOT done and Spring Break starts in 45 minutes!
8. I am super scared to take my baby to the beach next week because I think he will get a sun burn
9. I have to go to my friends son's 3rd birthday on Saturday and I have not a clue what to buy him (and it does not help that I am on a very tight budget either)
10. My poor baby got his first boo boo a few days ago! A scratch on his face from his nails, this wasn't a gimpy "goes away in two days scratch" like he got as a NB either, this was a DEEP scratch, poor thing clawed himself
11. My (100% trained) dog is now peeing on the carpet everyday (something new he started doing out of no where), sometimes 2 times a day (Deer Charlie, you need to STOP! one can only take so much before they give up)

I Spy a Blower

I originally took this picture to show the huge blower that was set up by my apartment complex on Valentines day to dry out our saturated wall after our apartment was flooded by an overflowing toilet on the third story. When I went back and looked at this picture I realized that it had A LOT going on!

So lets play a little game of I Spy.

1.  I Spy... a blower. This blower was very icky looking too! Wonder what made the thing black. It is also unplugged in this picture because we had moved it to set up our washer and dryer.
2. I Spy... a big whole in the wall. This is the whole the apartment complex came in a cut to see how bad the damage was from the flood. This was on Valentines day and the whole has been patched now but still has yet to be painted so it is now a big grey rectangle on my wall.
3. I spy... my sweet baby in his swing. This was the day after we bought his swing. He was lovin it right from the start.
4. I spy... a changing mat and a wet diaper on the floor. This was taken right after we changed him. You can tell the diaper was wet because the blue line. These are new color changing Pampers so it is easy to tell if baby needs to be changed. Love them!
5. I Spy... a Skylanders poster. Anthony and I are fans of Skylanders! We do not play very often but we like to collect the little figures. We have not bought any in a long long time but we still do look at the new ones when we pass by the isle in Wal-Mart. That post is so low because it is actually there to cover up a bunch of scuff marks that were made by my ex-roommates cats from jumping on my bike 348574 times a day. The bike was against the wall and the rubber grip caused the marks. I could not move the bike because they had the living room FILLED with junk.
6. I Spy... an orange Guitar Hero controller. This thing is AWESOME! It is the real feal and weight of a real guitar! I love it so much. I got it on eBay for $100 and have been looking for another one but can not find one anywhere.
7. I Spy... Anthony's old sandals. So glad we laid those things to rest! They always turned his feet blacker than a tar road!
8. I Spy... a VHS player. I love my VHS player! Bear even has a collection of over 50 Disney VHSs to watch when he gets older :]
9. I spy... a clear Wii controller. This controller is brand new but for some reason we can not figure out how to sync it to the Wii for the life of us! So sad because we can't afford to buy a new one and we really want to play Kirby Yarn together :[
10. I Spy... a Wii. Even though the new Wii U came out I think I am going to stay with the Wii. At least until Nintendo starts making all the cool stuff only available on Wii U, then if the money is there I may get a Wii U. Notice I have the new black Wii. Wish I had the older white one because this one does not have the controller jacks so I can not use a normal style controller unless I buy the super expensive wireless one they just came out with, BOO!
11. I Spy... an Xbox. Love my Xbox! We use it everyday but mainly just to watch Netflix.
12. I Spy... Sesame Street! Yes Bear is watching Cookie Monster talk about the letter Y here :] I do not think he "watches" it but I know he enjoys listening to the fun sounds and music that is why we put it on. Love that show for him it seems like a really good kids show, not trashy like a lot of the ones you see on TV now a days.
13. I Spy... a car seat. Looks like we had just gotten home from the store.
14. I Spy... the hallway light. This should be off but it is on. SIGH. We are having a hard time remembering to turn off lights. I often find myself looking around and wondering why there are 7 lights on. I am scared to see the electric bill this month!
15. And last but not least! I Spy with my little eye.... chunks of drywall on the carpet! This was from when the maintenance guys cut the whole in the wall. They later came back and vacuumed them up.

A picture is worth a thousand words! In this case this picture really does tell a story about what was going on in our life at the time it was taken. It is quite amazing to think about that concept really.

Letters to my Long Lost Friends (High School)

Ever wonder what happened to your long lost friends? This is something I think about all the time. Currently I do not have any friends, I have LOTS of acquaintances but no friends. This kind of upsets me at times but not really, as I barely have time to watch TV now a days let alone hang out with friends.

Letters to my long lost friends:

Camilo:
You were my first guy friend and we met when we were 15 and in the 9th grade! I believe we met in art class. We hung out in there, after school, before school, during lunch, and even on occasion outside of school. I had a lot of fun with you, we used to talk about guys together as you were gay, I always thought that was cool. You helped me through many hard things that I was struggling with in my life at that time. I really appreciated your support. We made a lot of awesome memories at my house, your house, and even Busch Gardens. We ate cotton candy... lots of it! and got our lemonade wet. We even went to the movies and saw I believe Spider-Man 2. Once 10th grade came around, you were changed though. It seemed like you had tons of new friends and just left me behind. You didn't treat me like your BFF anymore, you would only hang out with me for like 10 minutes before running off to be with someone else. I was heartbroken over this. You were really the only friend I had at the time, and I felt abandoned and alone. Even though we were not that close anymore we remained friends through out 10th grade. I eventually dropped out of school and went to be with Zack, we still were friends at that point. We even hung out a few times together, you, Zack, and I. I remember we had a big sleepover one time, it was really fun. One day Zack decided he didn't want to hang out with you any longer and I had to go along with it, so we lost contact. About 2 years later Zack and I broke up and I got back in contact with you, but you turned a cold shoulder to me, you didn't seem to understand why I put Zack before you and wanted nothing to do with me. We lived down the street from each other and you wouldn't even come and see me. Despite all the friend requests I have sent you, you still won't add me on Face Book. I guess I really upset you. I am sorry and I wish we could be friends again.

Sarah:
I met you when I was 16 and in the 10th grade! We met in the oddest of ways, I remember I was walking around at lunch time with another one of my friends, Kellum, and we were saying that we were an incomplete water molecule, that he was the H and I was the O but we needed another O to make H2O! We asked you to come be our O and you said yes! I have no clue what we were thinking lol. After that we were friends though. Kellum quickly stopped hanging out with us and it was just you and I. We were lone wolfs together, both kinda friendless at the time. You were shy like me, I think we had similar anxiety problems. We ate lunch together and talked about stuff, I always told you about the craziness in my life and I you always told me about the simplicity of your life. I always felt like a bad ass compared to you. Your life seemed so calm while mine seemed very well... messed up. I talked about Zack a lot once I met him and you always told me he was bad for me but I never cared to listen. I do thank you for trying, you were right. Eventually I left with Zack and you remained at school. I remember the whole reason I created a Face Book was so I could talk to you! That was a fail, as our conversation was quickly ended, you seemed to have a busy life and no time to talk to me. You also moved away to some far state to go to college, I think for a drama or music major or something like that. It was the college you dreamed of going to in high school, you were always really smart, it didn't surprise me when I found out you achieved your goals. We are still friends on Face Book, but I am not really sure what you are up to these days as you do not post that much. It would be cool to reconnect with you someday.

Angalie:
You were my first neighborhood friend after my family and I moved into their new house. We met when I was 14 and in the 9th grade. We did not have any classes together when we were in 9th grade but in 10th we did. We always got in groups and did projects together. I remember we used to walk around outside and sometimes hang out in your house. One time I had cake at your house on a plate that had a picture of a guy grilling a burger. I thought this was kinda odd since you guys are Hindu and vegetarians. We didn't hang out much at my house. I think this was because we did not share very many interests. I wanted to be really close friends with you but you just kept pushing me away. I kind of got the vibe that you did not like me all that much but were pretending to be my good friend. In 10th grade we started getting rides together. My dad took us to school and your friend took us home. We talked on the way but never got really close as friends. I no longer talk to you. Last time we talked you said you and your family had moved to Lakeland. I hope you are doing well. I wonder if you are married too? I don't think we will ever be close friends because of our clashing interests. I did enjoy the times that we hung out though.

Silent Sunday: B is for Bear

A Letter to Vannah

Dear Vannah,

What are you doing?!?! I see you walking around my apartment complex with a large group of boys, most of them with their pants falling off so bad they have to hold them on. I can tell you guys are up to no good.

We were never really were what I would call "friends". I think acquaintances would be a better word. We hung out a few times maybe 10? Never doing anything kosher. I know it is not my place to say but I honestly think you need to get your act together. You are 17 years old, not in school, don't have a job, and all you do all day is hang out and do "bad" things with those hoodlums that live near me. I know what you guys are up to in that apartment and I am sure a lot of others do as well. It really breaks my heart to see someone like you fall off the wagon and hit your head so hard. You still have time to get it together though! Man do I wish I could say that to you in person. I swear I would if I didn't have a really bad anxiety problem.

I see myself in you. At that age I was like you, I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to have fun. My thoughts were "well this makes me happy so I am going to do it". I never once thought about how it made others feel or how I was ruining my life until it was much too late. I am sure you have heard this from many people but you don't care. I never did. No one was going to stop me from doing what I wanted to do. And no one did. I just had to find out the hard way.

I have seen you face to face about 4 times in the last week. You have looked at me but not said anything at all. Not even a wave. Makes me wonder what is going through your mind. Maybe we never really were "friends". I never say hi because of my anxiety but I know you do not have any of that. To be honest every time I see you and I am by my apartment, I make sure to steer clear of my front door so you do not find out which one I live in. This is because I fear you and your friends will rob me. Yes, I fear you will rob me! Not because that is something you would do but because you are hanging out with people that do those kinds of things. I wonder how you would feel if you actually knew that someone felt scared to let you know where they live.

Oh, Vannah! Please get it together! I will be praying for you. I hope so badly that you realize that you are going down a long path of destruction. And I hope that you stop on that path and turn down another much better one.

Friday's Letters

Dear Kristen, you randomly came up on my mind today at work. I know you are working for the School Board because I keep seeing your name appearing in the SAP reports. When I try and talk to you about it on Facebook you ignore me! I thought maybe you just did not want to talk about your job so I asked a question about your dog and you ignored that too :[ this upsets me. Wish you weren't so mean we have only known each other like 15 years! Anyways glad I got that off my chest! Dear Wal-Mart and Publix too, I am coming to you guys today! And if you take more than $280 of my my money we are going to have a beef! Dear Black Dog Lady, please close the Etsy case that you have open against me, I sent you your money! What more do you want from me? Dear Anthony, I love you. That is all. Dear Stress, you can go away now :O I have everything under control... I think. Dear School, I have no clue if I am going to be able to go to you again in the Fall like I have been planing. I just have WAY too much going on. Working, coming home to cook and clean, and running an Etsy shop, all the while taking care of a 2.5 month old and trying to spend time with my boyfriend too! Where will I ever find the time to squeeze you in? Hope you are not too offended! Dear Bent O' Clock, I am having so much fun running you! I can not wait to see how things progress. I only have one follower so far but hey one is better than none! Dear The Walking Dead, You are an awesome show and I am enjoying waiting you after 4 flop shows! Thank God I finally found a new show to watch! Dear Fat Pants, you are so soft and comfy. And last but not least Dear Self, please try to keep sane with all that is going on in life right now!

10 Weeks Old!

Since Bear is getting bigger now he is having less milestones and changes in one week. So my weekly posts are going to be a lot shorter from now on.

He is definitely smiling a lot more! I even got a bunch on camera too :] We took him to the Strawberry festival this week and on his first shopping trip too. He is getting more active now kicking his feet a lot and moving his arms all around. He fists seemed to stay closed more than they were but this may just be due to the cold weather.

He is in all good health. He seems to be doing well with the 4oz of formula and is having less projectile vomiting and fussiness. His rash on his leg has also gone away Yay!

His skin is definitely getting darker too! I can't wait to see if he turns out dark like his daddy!

He is still gaining weight everyday, I can now only hold him while I am standing or walking for about 10 minutes before I am tired and have to put him down! He's turning into a big boy! He is also now fitting quite a bit of size 0-3 months clothes and almost out of newborn completely. I hope he stays at size 0-3 months for a long time because we have like 4857439858 different outfits in that size lol.

He is sleeping pretty well too still waking up once around 1AM and then again at around 6 AM then back to bed until about 9 AM.

All in all he is doing great and so are we!

Random Thoughts: March 13th

I have a lot of random thoughts go through my head! This is a list of all of them (well most) for March 13th 2013. I thought it would be fun to go back in a year or more to see how my thought pattern has changed.

1. I should make a blogpost about all the random thoughts I have.
2. Good thing people can't smell bad breath through the phone.
3. Maybe I should stop eating lunch to lose weight.
4. My shoes look all dusty from walking through sand.
5. Is that a chopper I hear or a really huge fish blowing bubbles?
6. My feet are vibrating.
7. Hope I didn't step in dog poop!
8. Work is so boring.
9. Alma is kinda an odd name... sounds like almonds.
10. That orange is prolly rotten.
11. That orange is actually a tangerine.
12. I can't believe Anthony stayed up two days straight playing Star Craft.
13. Shine bright like a diamond.
14. I love my life.
15. I am FREEEEEZing even though it's like 72 degrees in here!
16. Uckk I wish I had a breath mint!
17. Why do some people spell Michael "Micheal"?
18. Having a family costs way more than living alone.
19. I hope no one turns off the heat.
20. Why does cotton candy turn into a hard rock even in an air tight container?
21. I wish Netflix had more Breaking Bad seasons available.
22. That grits casserole I made a few weeks ago didn't taste very good.
23. CRAMP! 
24. Hope my boss doesn't ask me if I'm freezing.
25. Wonder how many degrees it is outside.
26. Doing that mentor experience thingy in the 8th grade really sucked.
27. I want some garlic knots from Palace Pizza.
28. I wish I had some green stuff to take St. Patrick's day themed pics of Bear with.
29. I want to go to Dollar Tree.
30. You're beautiful like diamonds in the skyyyyy.
31. I forgot to record a bunch of my random thoughts! :O
32. I miss Bear... and Anthony.
33. I'm glad Charlie can't jump up on our bed anymore.
34. I really want cheese sticks.
35. I need to call Bear's old doctor and request his shot record.
36. This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine!
37. (A popular Spanish song's lyrics that I have no clue how to type)
38. So glad it's no longer freezing in here.
39. Uggg 2 more hours til I get to home from work!
40. I can't believe I have to work on a Friday this week >:[
41. I taste blood.
42. Elmo loves his goldfish!... His crayon too!
43. I miss my black light.
44.  Why does Nichole keep doing all of my work?!
45. I think cream cheese filled celery would be neat to go into a bento lunch.
46. My computer is so broken.
47. I should prolly throw out that rotten tangerine...
 

At about 4 I forgot to keep recording my thoughts. Boo! Then after dinner I got sick and went to bed early at 6. So these are random thoughts for half of the day only. And because I got sick I was unable to upload pics for Bear's 10 week post so that will not be up until tomorrow. 

Letters to my Long Lost Friends (Middle School)

Ever wonder what happened to your long lost friends? This is something I think about all the time. Currently I do not have any friends, I have LOTS of acquaintances but no friends. This kind of upsets me at times but not really, as I barely have time to watch TV now a days let alone hang out with friends.

Letters to my long lost friends:

Da'Shayla:
We met when we were 11 years old in the 6th grade! We were never super close but I did have a lot of fun with you riding on the bus home from school, making those cool string lanyards, eating candy, and just talking about life. I think you got kicked out of the school we were going to because one day you just transferred to the other school in our city. We later went to the same high school as well but I never talked to you. I would see you around, I wanted to talk to you but I just never did, probably because my shyness and social anxiety. I wish you would have talked to me, we would could have continued our friendship into so many years. I never did add you on Face Book. I don't know that I even ever seen a profile for you on Face Book, so I do not know where you are now or how you are doing. I haven't talked to you since I was about 12 and I haven't seen you since I was 14. I hope you are doing well, maybe I will try and find you on Face Book too.

Chelsea:
We met when were about 12 years old and in the 6th grade as well! We only hung out outside of school one time, and that was to go to the movies to see the Lemony Snicket Movie. Other than that we were in school friends too. You were my best friend at PE, we were buds, we always grouped together and it was very fun to hang out with you. I was glad that I had a friend to talk to through the beginning of my middle school years. We were pretty much BFF's all through 6th grade but when 7th grade started you changed. You got a new BFF, Livia. I remember she was in out PE class too, and you would always pick her over me. Over time you became more and more like Livia and you guys kinda just exiled me and became your own BFF's. You were doing things together outside of school and hanging out with guys, something I was not doing yet. I remember you liked her BF Danny and used to obsess over him. I always felt bad for you through that time, wondering if you would ever get over him and realize he was with Livia. I am sad that our friendship drifted the way it did, it really does suck. After middle school, we went to separate high schools. Later on down the road I found you on Face Book and you apparently had moved to Georgia to go to college there. We haven't talked on Face Book at all. I do not know that I am interested in talking to you all that much, while we did have fun when we were 12 it seems like we grew into two completely different people.

Caitlynn:
I met you when I was 13 and in the 7th grade! We were really close. It had been a while since I had a friend as close as you, you were much needed and I greatly appreciated our friendship. We had fun in school and out. We always hung out on the bus together, and talked about our crushes, and gossiped about other people, oh and I can't forget ate candy lol! Out of school, we went to Cypress Gardens (which is now Lego Land), birthday parties, and just hung out at each others houses. This was the age were we stopped playing and more like just hung out doing random things like getting on the computer or going for a walk around the block. We did get into some fights because our personalities did clash sometimes, but we got over those quickly. I remember one time you put your pants in the dryer and it burned them! I still think about that moment today, not sure why. We drifted when middle school was over and we attended different high schools. We still stayed in contact somewhat but not really. We remained friends on Myspace until that eventually went out of style and people moved on to Face Book. I recently with in the past year found you on Face Book. We got to talking and even texting. I thought for a minute there that we may become good friends again, but then you told me that you were moving to some far away state, I think Colorado or something like that. We could have still been texting buddies, but I am not really one for texting, it bores me and I run out of things to say, I would much rather hang out in person, which is not possible. Maybe one day you will move back to Florida and we will hang out again, I would enjoy that.

Kassey:
We met when were were 14 and in the 8th grade! I think it was the first week of 8th grade and you were new to my school. You brought along with you your BFF Nikki, who I was never really fond of to be honest. We hung didn't have any classes together but we hung out together before classes started and while we waited for the bus. We were even bus callers together. It turned out you lived right down the road from me so we got to ride the bus home together and hang out after school sometimes. We sometimes worked on homework together or played with your cats. You always seemed kind of prissy and I felt like you thought you were better than me. Even though you were my BFF I was not your BFF, that was always Nikki, I could never compete. This upset me, you used to always tell me about all the fun things you and Nikki were going to do together and it made me feel really left out that I could never be included. Never the less you we still had fun together. Once 9th grade came around, we started high school together, my dad used to drive you to school in the mornings with us, and we would hang out before school together. You were really into boys though, and I was not. You always seemed to have a new BF or a guy you wanted to talk to, and you always drug me along and I felt like the third wheel, but you were the best friend I had so I dealt with it. We tried out for soccer together, and made a new friend, Nikki (a different one). You and Nikki both made the team and I did not, this is where we drifted apart. You now wanted to hang out with one of the two Nikki's or your BF and had no time for me. I was forced to go make new friends as many people are. I later added you on Face Book as well but we don't talk. I think we have clashing life styles and I do not know that we would be all that good of friends is we started hanging out again.

Charlie's Story

Hello, my name is Charlie and this is my story.

I was born on November 28th 2009 in Lakeland, FL.

My doggie parents were both pure bred Dachshunds.

I had an awesome human family with a mom, a dad, a brother, and a sister too!

I even had 3 doggie siblings!

I loved to watch TV with my daddy and run around in my super cool fenced in back yard.

Sometimes I even sat around in ant beds and got all bit up.

That made me itchy, so my family put cream on my belly.

I thought it was yummy so I tried to lick it off.

But then my family put a sweater on so I couldn't lick it :[ 

I was a super happy dog.

Until one day my family got my sister a kitten for her Birthday.

That little kitten tore me up and fought with me every minute she could!

So my family put a big ol' sign in the front yard.

I don't know what it said cuz I can't read.

All I know is a few hours later I went to live with my new mommy and daddy.

I got into the car and took a really long ride with my new mommy.

When the ride was over we went into a different house and met my new daddy! 

I missed my old family but I LOVED my new family and still do!

They take me for walks and feed me lots of yummy food.

Daddy is my favorite. We always hang out.

We like to play video games together.

And he even used to let me sleep with him before he got that evil high bed that I can't jump into.

He never puts me in that doggie jail cage like my old family did either.

 When my daddy leaves I always cry.

I miss him so much and always wait by the door and watch out the window to see when he's coming home.

When he gets here I jump up and down and bark and smile and greet him.

I am always so happy to see him!

Lately my mommy and daddy have been putting this funky necklace on me! 

Not the kind of necklace you go for a walk with.

This one shocks me when I try to bark or howl because they are gone and I want them to come home.

I don't like this necklace.

Maybe they are mad at me for barking.

I am just sad that they left me at home alone.

Two months ago my mommy and daddy had a baby.

It's a boy named Bear and he's my new little brother!

I love my brother so much.

I always try to protect him.

I like to lay down next to him, although most of the time my mommy and daddy make me move.

When he cries I always hear him first and run to make sure he is okay.

Sometimes I am a bad doggie and I give him kisses.

I get in trouble for that, but I still do it because I love him!

Me and Bear are best friends.

We hang out all the time. (Well... when my mommy lets us)

I hope my new family keeps me forever and never gets a new kitten.

Maybe I will stop pooping on the carpet and covering it up with clothes just to make sure they don't want to replace me!.... NAH! They love me too much!

I can pretty much get away with anything.

I love my family.

Currently

Watching: I just got done watching The Glades, well the two seasons that are available on Netflix anyways. I liked that show but I was not crazy in love with it. It seemed sorta bland like nothing that hasn't been done before. I started watching another show last night called Life. This show is all ready getting on my nerves and I do not think I will continue watching it but I am giving it a chance to see what happens, as some shows I have to watch like 5 episodes before I can "get into" it.
Writing: Lots of lists. Lists of stuff I need to buy, stuff I need to do, people I need to call, finance lists, recipe lists, menus, and hey look now I am even writing a lists of all the lists I have been writing!
Listening: Anthony and I have been in the car more these past few weeks with going back and forth to Kissimmee and the Strawberry Festival. We have been listening to a lot of mainstream music. I am not one to look into names of songs but some of the verses that are stuck in my head are: "Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad? Girl your giving me a heart attack, trouble maker!" and "I wear my heart up on my sleeve like a big deal!" oh and can't forget about "My father said, don't you worry, don't you worry child, Heaven's got a plan for you". And yep these songs have been STUCK in Anthony and mines head for about a week now. They have been driving me crazy. I wish someone would come up with new music to play on the mainstream stations!
Thinking: I have been thinking a lot (more like worrying) about finances and how me and Anthony are going to make it. I try not to but it keeps coming into my brain. I applied for Food Stamps and found out we can't get those so looks like we are going to be on our own. Gah! I don't even want to type this because now here I go thinking about our bleak situation again.
Smelling: Poop. Seriously. This week Charlie has been pooping in the house A LOT! We are not sure why he is doing it but he is. And he hides it too by covering it up with anything and everything he can find from clothes to papers. So we smell the poop but can't find it.
Wishing: That we were financially stable. This one speaks for itself.
Hoping: That everything turns out well in the future. With Etsy, my blogs, our money problems, taking Bear to day care if we need to etc. I just hope so deeply that everything ends up okay and we do not end up having to move in with Anthony's mother in Kissimmee forcing me to quit my job, the only job I have ever known or had.
Wearing: My new fat pants. I finally broke down and bought fat pants after I weighed myself to find that I gone up from 122 to 126. I am trying to LOSE weight and yet somehow I am gaining weight. I was hopping to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 111 by the time Bear was 6 months old but that does not seem to be happening! I could not go any longer wearing the same pair of pants everyday to work because that was the only one that fit so I sucked it up and bought some new ones. I even packed away all my clothes that don't fit because they were taking up at least 50% of our closet and hangers. Hopefully I will be able to take them down and wear them again one day. :'[
Loving: Anthony. I am just over the moon loving my boyfriend these days! He is such a great father and always knows what to do to make me happy. His fun spirit brings so much joy to the house. When he is sleeping or not home I find the place to be pretty drab and end up wishing he would wake up or come back really soon!
Wanting: To spend $200 on Bento supplies and $200 on Etsy supplies. Sadly that is not going to happen. I may be able to get away with $50 on each but I am still not really sure at this point.
Needing: To start exercising. I feel like a complete bum. I went from walking 6-8 miles a day 4 times a week to not walking at all. Now a days it is just easier to take the car! And I do not have time to walk anyways. I should really rearrange my schedule to fit some exercise time in! Maybe it will even help me to retire these fat pants I just bought..
Feeling: I have been feeling very happy! There has been some lingering stress in there but every time I get stressed Anthony makes me feel better <3 I love him so much.
Clicking: On all the cute new things they have for sale over at bentousa.com!

What I Miss (and Don't Miss) About Being Pregnant

Now that I am no longer pregnant, I often find myself looking back on when I was pregnant and thinking about how things were when I was.

When I gave birth I was so over being pregnant! There were so many things that were driving me crazy. But there were a lot of things that I loved about being pregnant too! I decided to make a list so if I get pregnant again I will be able to compare and contrast with my next pregnancy.

So thankful these parts are over:

1. Being huge

2. Having to wear fat pants

3. Looking into the mirror and finding more stretch marks

4. Aches and pains

5. Being exhausted all the time

6. Not being able to see my feet

7. Heartburn

8. Not being able to walk long distances

9. Not being able to lift heavy stuff

10. Not being able to eat sushi

11. Planning 24/7

12. Stress

13. Worrying if my baby is okay

14. Worrying if we will make it through delivery

15. Being kicked while I was trying to sleep

16. Sore boobs

17. Swollen ankles

18. Doctors appointments every 10 minutes (ok that is an exaggeration lol)

19. People staring at me like I am a pregnant teen when I am really 21

20. Not being able to bend down

21. People treating me like I am not ready when clearly they know nothing about me

22. Bleeding (had this for over three months in 1^st trimester)

23. Being super hungry all the time

24. Craving things

24. Not being in prime health

26. Feeling like my body is weak

27. People treating me different

28. People acting like I am sick

29. Gaining weight

30. Extreme gingivitis

31. Taking vitamins and other pills

32. Worrying every time I get even a tiny symptom of a cold

33. Nausea

And some things that I actually miss about having my sweet boy in me:

1. Knowing where he’s at at all times

2. Being able to eat a lot and not worry about weight

3. The excitement

4. Sleep

5. Writing in my belly journal every week

6. Taking belly pics every week

7. Not having to walk to work

8. Being able to take it easy and not feel bad about it

9. Having insurance

10. My hair not falling out

11. Great skin

12. Felling my baby kick

13. Planning his room

14. Buying baby stuff (not that I still don’t do this, just when you are pregnant it is really a lot more fun because the excitement)

15. Talking to other pregnant people

16. Going to ultrasounds

17. Not thinking I am fat and stressing over losing weight

18. More food on WIC

19. Being relatively free (life is different now with a baby I do LOVE my life and I am not complaining about responsibilities but it was nice to have none)

20. Not worrying about getting pregnant

Looks like there were way more annoying things about being pregnant than good things lol. I don’t think this will stop me from wanting another baby in the future though. I love my baby so much that I am 100% sure I am going to want to have another one in a few years. I really hope that Anthony and I are able to make it to where we can financially afford to expand our family! I am very hopeful that God will help us with that and continue to bless us with a growing family.

Friday's Letters

Dear Charlie, You are driving me crazy! I love you but the peeing on the floor everyday has got to stop! I know this is probably partially Anthony's fault for not taking you out but still... it needs to stop. So does the obnoxious walking back and forth when you eat. P.S. you are still my cute little doggie. Dear Sister, Good luck with your new dog... ha. You are about to be tossed into the life of scrubbing carpet, smelly dog breath, itchy fleas, expensive vet visits, scooping poop, wondering where all those tiny hairs came from, being drug around on a leash, getting nagged to go outside when it is 20 degrees out, and lots and lots of puppy love! I'm sure you'll be a great doggy mommy. Dear Carpet, I am so sorry you are getting abused. It's a part of life. Get. Over. It. I will try and get you steamed up and smellin good once my apartment complex finally renews my lease (that expired like a month ago!). You'll be so clean you may even get asked out on a date by that cute new rug I have seen laying around in the master bathroom. Dear Mother in Law, You are awesome and I am glad you are coming over for two days to spend time with us, but I am seriously stressed over the whole thing! I really hope you enjoy the meals we plan to cook you and hopefully Anthony doesn't chose all man movies to watch while you are here. I know you say you like them but really? What woman wants to watch a movie that has nothing but guns and bloodshed? Hmmmm... maybe I'm just odd. And I hope mild Italian sausage isn't too spicy for you! Dear Strawberry Festival, We are going to you tomorrow and I am super duper exited! Please don't take all my money!
Dear Mall, Same goes for you! Dear Florida, I know you are busy trying to be a rebel but come on all ready! It's March, why is it 36 degrees out?!?
Dear Fat Butt of Mine, PLEASE shrink! I am so tired of having to wear the same two pairs of pants to work every day because I can't fit into anything else. OK, so maybe I should lay off the cupcakes...and the fried cheese... and the Dr. Pepper... NAH! Dear Bloggy Friends, Check it out I made a my first ever button! I know it sucks but it was the first time I EVER made anything in Photoshop so I think I did pretty good :]

Letters to my Long Lost Friends (Elementary School)

Ever wonder what happened to your long lost friends? This is something I think about all the time. Currently I do not have any friends, I have LOTS of acquaintances but no friends. This kind of upsets me at times but not really, as I barely have time to watch TV now a days let alone hang out with friends.

Letters to my long lost friends:

Elizabeth:
You were my first friend! We met when we were just 6 years old. I have many fond memories with you like, all the fun crafts we did, our crazy sleepovers, swimming in your little pool, and even going to Disney. I remember we used to fight over the stupidest of things like who's shoes were cleaner lol. I suppose this was because we spent way too much time together, but the fights never seemed to keep us apart. We always made up and were playing outside again in a few hours. It really does suck that you moved so far away, we had such a strong friendship. We even managed to get pregnant together when we were 17! I thought this would bring us closer having a baby at the same time, but it didn't we were still very distant only talking once in a blue moon on Myspace. Your daughter is now 3 and I have only ever met her two times and your second daughter is almost one and I have yet to meet her at all! It is crazy how best friends can just simply grow apart like this. We finally started talking again when I saw on Facebook that you had started a blog. I thought that maybe we could be blogging pals! You even called me after reading my blog. We talked for like an hour than you had to go. We then did not talk for about a month not sure why that happened, I guess life just got in the way. We now talk again through text and I read your blog on a daily basis and sometimes even post comments. I see that you are going through a lot and I am sorry you have to go through those things, I wish you the best of luck. Maybe one day we will move closer together where we can re-kindle our friendship. You really were the best friend I ever had, I never did achieve a friendship with anyone else that was as strong as the friendship that we shared.

Kinsey:
I met you when I was about 8 years old! I remember standing outside and you rode your super cool bike down the road right in front of me. I wondered to myself "Who is that and why don't I know her?" the rest is history! We had a lot of fun together you, Elizabeth, and I. The three of us were never close as a group because we always seemed to get along better when it was just two people rather than three. I remember we had so much fun jumping on your trampoline, playing in your tree house, and swimming in your pool! We even had fun giving your pet turtle a bath. I always thought your house was so cool and was super jealous of all the fun stuff you had.  I don't know what happened to us, it's like one day you just vanished. You were there and we were friends and then you were not, it was very odd. I think you moved in with your dad but I never got the details straight. Later on we did attend the same high school but never met up once or even talked. I know you became a varsity cheerleader... and me well I became nothing, so I guess we grew up to have clashing lifestyles. It did not surprise me when I found out you were a cheerleader, you were always super pretty and into those kinds of things. I was scared to talk to you to be honest because I felt like you would think you were superior to me. I found you on Face Book a few years after we had graduated high school. We chatted some and said we should hang out like old times but that never happened, in fact that was the only time we chatted as well. We remain Face Book friends today but we do not talk. It's almost as if we were never friends and our memories are forgotten.

Jessica:
We met when we were in 1st grade! So around 6-7 years old. I remember you were in my class and we walked home from school together on some days. We had lots of fun playing outside in the Florida sun, riding bikes, building ramps, making slip and slides because our parents would never buy one, and playing with many different litters of kittens.We were very fond of each other but one day you just moved away as well. It wasn't long after we met maybe 6 months later? The little memories that I do have of us are very sweet, I wish we would have made more. I later found you on Face Book as well. Like Kinsey we said we should hang out like old times but never did and then didn't seem to talk anymore after that. It's strange how this happens so much, maybe people just don't want to hang out with me but they say they do? Or maybe their life is too busy. We are still friends on Face Book, I read your posts all the time but never comment on them, I am not much of a commenter though. You have a daughter now too that is a little younger than Seth, and she looks just like you when you were a little girl! It is crazy seeing pictures of her. I would like to talk to you more and be friends and maybe even hang out? Who knows where that could go.

Casey:
You were more of my sister's friend because you were older than me, but we were still friends never the less. I met you at around 8 as well I believe. Your grandmother (Granny Smith as we called her) lived down the road from me and we would hang out when you visited her house. We had fun watching movies, exploring the neighborhood, going to the park to try and fish, going to your moms house and playing in the woods, and just hanging out in general. It always seems like we were getting into trouble with you, like that one time you broke your arm at the park, and the time I got stuck in the baby stroller in the middle of the road, and the time that we you, my sister, and I all got lice together. I don't know what it was, we just seemed accident prone while together. Never the less, we did have a bunch of fun. I don't know what ever happened to you either, like much of my other friends, one day you were just gone. I have not seen you or talked to you since I was about 10 years old. Maybe I will look you up and try to get back in contact over the great Face Book, and maybe we won't be so accident prone now that we are grown lol.

Kaleigh:
We met when we were 9 years old in the 2nd grade! You were my best friend in second grade. We hung out outside of school sometimes, I know we went to a few sleep overs together and birthday parties, we even saw a parade together once. For the most part though, you were my in school friend. We hung out at lunch, and PE, and in class of course. I really enjoyed your company and being friends with you those years that we were friends. It was nice to have a BFF by my side and not to be a lone wolf. In third grade we sort of drifted but then were in the same class again in fourth grade and we were friends again. I do not remember fifth grade but I know we went to different middle schools which pretty much ultimately caused us to completely drift apart. We did attend the same high school later on, I saw you in the courtyard but was always too shy to talk to you or make conversation. It is odd of the best of friends can turn into that... too shy to talk to each other. I was just worried you had moved on and had new best friends and would not have any interest in talking to me. I saw you in Wal-Mart one time with two of your other friends, you were super loud and kind of scared me to be honest, which is why I said hi and quickly walked away. We were basically always friends on Face Book, and yet we have never really talked. We are now pregnant together again, you with a girl expected due date is I think 2 weeks after Bear. I tried to make conversation to you about your pregnancy thinking that since we now have something in common maybe we could re-start our friendship, but you always seemed to kill the conversation just a tad bit after I started it. I suppose you aren't really interested in being friends with me all that much, which really does kind of sadden me, I really wanted a close friend that was pregnant at the same time as me.

9 Weeks Old!

Personality: Bear is starting to have fun doing more things now! He will now tolerate siting and chilling for about 30 minutes (something he would not do before unless someone was holding him). I took a bath with him yesterday and he kicked and played in the water and was smiling up a storm, he loved it so much! He also is starting to get clingy with Anthony and I. Sometimes he just wants to see us and know we are there. We will put him in the swing and then sit behind it on the couch and he will start crying, but if we turn the swing around so he can see us he will stop.

Growth: Bear is still 21.5 in but he is now 11lbs 10oz! He gained a full lb in just a week and a half! His height is in the 5th percentile and his weight is in the 46th. The doctor said for his height is is sorta fat but nothing to be concerned about. His head is 39 cm and in the 5th percentile too.

Health: When we took Bear to the doctor yesterday for his 2 month wellness the doctor said he looked super healthy. He got 5 shots and didn't cry for longer than 3 seconds. He does have an under the skin rash on his left leg and the doctor told us to watch and see what happens. If it gets worst we will need to take him to the ER because it may be capillary related. Lately he has been spitting up through his nose more, we talked to her about that and she said that is a form of projectile vomiting and said he may have a narrowing of his throat. We scheduled an appointment to come back in two weeks to see if that and the rash has gotten better or not, so we will just have to wait and see how this goes. We picked up his prescription for the Thrush too so we will be giving him that with in the next few days. I am still not so sure he actually has Thrush but the doctor said it wont harm him if he doesn't.

Sleeping: Bear is getting better and better at sleeping! Last night he slept the longest he ever has. He went to bed at around 8:30 PM and slept all the way to 3:30 AM! He then woke again at 6:15 AM. He is getting closer and closer to sleeping through the night. Yay Bear!

Eating pic will be posted later today.

Eating: While at the doctor, we talked about his fussiness and spiting up. We asked the doctor if she thought maybe he was allergic to the formula. She said that she thought we were feeding him too much. She suggested to bring down his 6oz to 4oz and try and soothe him with a binky and see if that helps. She thinks that his belly is getting too full causing him to have a belly ache and spit up. We started trying to just limit him to 4 oz every 2-3 hours yesterday. It has actually been going very well so far. Hopefully it stays going well and he becomes less fussy!

Belly Pic Archive

It's always fun to watch your belly grow when you are pregnant! I took weekly pictures when I was pregnant with Seth but they all got deleted. I really wish I had them so I could compare them to when I was pregnant with Bear! I am going to make super sure these ones do not get lost or deleted :]

I took a picture every week starting at 4 weeks but here I am only posting every four weeks so you can see the growth better.

4 Weeks (1 Month)

8 Weeks (2 Months)

12 Weeks (3 Months)

16 Weeks (4 Months)

20 Weeks (5 Months)

24 Weeks (6 Months)

28 Weeks (7 Months)

32 Weeks (8 Months)

36 Weeks (9 Months)

38 Weeks (9.5 Months)

I went to 39 weeks but unfortunately I did not get a picture right before I gave birth :[